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The Wet Spots
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PSA
Honey, if like us you linger Around your backside with a finger And stimulate your prostate just for fun
It's natural to fantasize About a toy of larger size And by all means, friend Go out and purchase one
But should your prudishness preempt it Then you may be sorely tempted To improvise with what you have on hand
I know it seems a perfect fit We advise you, wait a bit Listen to this song And you will understand
Never put a fish in your bum, chum Not even one tiny little fishstick in your bum Never put a fish in your hole, Joel That frozen snapper's going to be too cold
Well, it will give you an erection But it's sure to cause infection So never never never never never never never never never never put a fish in your bum
Never put a vacuum in your bum, chum Never put that shiny tented hose in your bum (And don't put it on your cock, either) Never put a vacuum in your crack, Jack There's better ways to tidy up round back
Well, I'll bet you a hundred and fifty bucks That the experience is really gonna suck So never never never never never never never never never never put a vacuum in your bum
Never put a cellphone in your bum, mum That's just a general rule of thumb Find more lyrics at ※ Mojim.com Never put a cellphone in your ass, Cass Ain't no reception up your (?) pass
Radiation causes sterilization And eventual loss of all sensation So never never never never never never never never never never put a cellphone in your bum
Never put a bowling up your ass That's just crass That mother's never gonna pass Don't roll that big thing up your lane, Jane Have you gone totally insane?
Although it's safer than a trout It can be hard to get the damn thing out So never never never never never never never never never never put a bowling ball in your ass
Folks, folks, the Wet Spots, The Wet Spots care about your bums We love your bums And every year thousands of people are hospitalized because they make bad anal choices That's right, honey And we want you to know that you can save yourself a trip to the emergency room if you just make a short detour to the toy store and buy yourself a quality silicone butt plug I hear women's wear is nice Not that kind of plug, honey But you should know never to buy a novelty toy, because novelties are meant to be kept on your knick-knack shelf, beside your fake vomit and your Whoopie cushion If it's a novelty, it might be made out of softened PVC, which is a material so toxic that Health Canada banned its use for dog toys So buy silicone folks And remember, your ass is not a joke
If you accept these tips In your pursuit of anal kicks You're sure to have a lot of good clean fun You're going to have a ball Just relax and start out small And don't forget to wash it when you're done Shooba-dooba-dooba-dooba-do-wa! Ahh!
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