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The Real Slim Shady
Lyricist:Tom Coster, Mike Elizondo, Marshall Mathers, Andre Young
May I have your attention, please May I have your attention, please Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up? We're gonna have a problem here
Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door And started whoopin' her ass worse than before They first were divorced, throwing her over furniture, aah
It's the return of the, aww, wait, no wait, you're kidding He didn't just say what I think he did, did he? And Dr. Dre said, nothing, you idiots, Dr. Dre's dead He's locked in my basement
Feminist women love Eminem Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him, look at him walkin' around Grabbin' his you know what, flippin' to you know who
Yeah, but he's so cute though Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose But no worse than what's goin' on in your parent's bedroom But sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss And that's the message that we deliver to little kids And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course, they're gonna know what intercourse is By the time they hit fourth grade They got the Discovery Channel, don't they? We ain't nothin' but mammals, well, some of us cannibals Who cut other people open like antelopes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up?
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too You think I give a damn about a Grammy Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird? Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst Hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first Fuckin bitch, put me on blast on MTV Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee hee
I should download her audio on MP3 And show the world how you gave Eminem VD I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, All you do is annoy me Find more lyrics at ※ Mojim.com So I have been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up?
I'm like a head trip to listen to 'cause I'm only givin' you things You joke about with your friends inside you livin' room Only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya'll And I ain't gotta be false or sugar coated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it I just shit it better than ninety percent of you rappers out there Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursing home, flirting Pinchin' nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with jergen's And I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working In every single person there's a Slim Shady lurkin'
He could be workin' at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings Or in the parking lot, circling, screamin', I don't give a fuck With his windows down and his system up So will the real Shady please stand up
And put one of those fingers on each hand up And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up?
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up?
Now throw your hands in the air And wave it like you just don't care And if you don't give a, like we don't give a Let we now say, oh yeah, oh yeah Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
Like that and you don't stop Like that and you don't, don't stop One, two, two, two, two, two, two
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