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Tonedeff
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Control
[Hook] Stay. No, don't Go away. Come close When I say what I want's not the same as what I've done. Oh no It's coursing through my veins Coursing through my veins I'm out of control I can never tell when it's over When I say what I want's not the same as what I've done. Oh no It's coursing through my veins Coursing through my veins But I want control
[Verse 1] The jenga pieces were fucked from the start Cause everything that I touch falls apart There's a faulty part of me resting, till it gets the best of me Let's me reach for the structure and then it shoves on my arm I expect to be late - in a rush, cause it's smart And it deafens my head to negate the buzz of the alarm Though I set it, I slept through it - wait...which one is the mark? And who meddled? I wrestle with blame - while drunk up at the bar Then I'm shredded to death the next day - too hungover to march To the set of this expletive play, in what's known as a farce This director resents and degrades - I flub all of my parts And I exit the stage, yet I claim that I'm numb to his remarks I'm an expert in lessening in pain, I cut over the scars So the flesh that is left can remain untouched, pure as the dawn But the second it festers, I rage. Destruction of the facade Ain't no guessing the recipe's flavor, when crunched under the char It's excessive in plenty of ways, I'm stumped? Then I restart Cause If it ain't perfection, I fade - I run towards the dark Like there's medicine kept in the shade - he crumples up the art I regressively step and the baby gets dumped with the water The penalty's heft on mistakes is much heavier/harsh So, when I mess up - reset the game - and thus - never go farther A vet to rejection and hate, I'm huddled in my guard So instead when I'm sent a grenade, I can bump it out the park But he tends to deflect any praise and lumps it with the snark My perception is - yes, I'm afraid I'll fumble at 1 yard I'm sweating whenever there's bets to be placed, stuttering over the odds Leveraging a defensive delay, by shuffling the cards Petrified of success and acclaim, he stumbles over the blocks Every hex is accepted with grace, he's comfortable in the loss He projects, the trajectory's safe, it's control he can chart There's sympathetic attention to gain - the shrug nobody wants And it's all the expense of his angst, I gun solo - it's hard Instead of help - incessant delays - it does most of the harm And when wave of depression came, he jumped right over the barge And in my dread, I was led astray and I dug holes in my yard My ex suggested we separate, cause I suffocate with art But there were many more pressing plagues, uthat were stuffed within our cart And then when I checked out, I felt my brain, I shut it in response Ain't no prep for the sense of shame, when your woman knows you lost - 40 I felt dejected, my selfish ways, had crushed my lover's heart And then my plus 1 departs, like they were plucked from the ark Temporarily end the ache, with sluts, hoes and thots On the bus home I'm starving, cause my stomach's full of knots And as I slept in this bed of blades - he's puffing a cigar Cause he deceptively fed me bait, and drugged me with his charm It's like a sedative - hence the haze, you're somehow absolved Knowing there's someone else in charge as you plummet and you fall I relent and self-deprecate, and publicize my flaws Turning these lemons to lemonade, in a punch filled with straws Everyone begs me to get a taste, it's ugly but it's strong As I struggle to evolve from a duck into a swan Yet this devil won't let me change, he's sunk in with his claws Until he collects every debt I pay, I'm stuck within these walls I'm living within an enemy state of mind, but instead of a stranger, penning these checks The evidence states, the enemy's name is mine [Hook] Stay. No, don't Go away. Come close When I say what I want's not the same as what I've done. Oh no It's coursing through my veins Coursing through my veins I'm out of control I can never tell when it's over When I say what I want's not the same as what I've done. Oh no It's coursing through my veins Coursing through my veins But I want control
[Verse 2] I'm outta control. I want you to know that my mind is my foe, and it vies for the throne I'm trying to hold it inside, but it won't Subside and it grows, unless I can oppose it by fighting to own What I've pridefully thrown to the side cause I'm prone to be private and closed So, writing this tome where I'm highly exposed, helps lighten the load Of the lies and loathing, the size of a boulder that's tied to me Hope l survive to be old and wiser, bestowed with the spite that I'm owed From the life that I've broken - the price of atonement is dying alone And I'm out of control - And I've driving it home - every wind in road Is the kind that erodes And behind me it's broke, I stay alive going forward and hide from my ghosts But this self-sabotage is a complex process where the conflict's Brought upon by my own impulsive thoughts and then I'm haunted at night by them both I was psyched to propose, so hyper with goals, and despite this he chose, to incite a divorce And reclined as a drone in his stifling work, then he cries in remorse In a cycle of woe, it's dividing my soul And one side's got to go. (I got a shot) But i cannot decide if I'm the parasite or the host No
[Outro]
There's something wrong with my head That shouldn't be there. (I don't need there)
I'm out of control I'm out of control I'm out of control I'm out of control
Don't ever change. Don't ever change Cause it won't change. No it won't change anyway. (41) So you can stay the way you are The way you are
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